skjam

The Last Stand (2013) dir. Jee-Woon Kim

Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega) is the organized crime version of a nepo baby, being a third generation cartel boss. But he didn't stay on top in the business by being anything less than a ruthless, cunning active criminal. When captured inside the United States, Cortez uses his wealth and connections to suborn an FBI insider inside the task force assigned to him. This allows him to set up an elaborate escape plan to get from Las Vegas to Mexico. With his inside knowledge, well-trained minions, and expert driving skills, Cortez is able to stay one step against his government opponent, FBI agent John Bannister (Forest Whitaker) and the law enforcement in his way. There's just one little thing Cortez didn't plan on.

Sheriff Ray Owens (Arnold Schwarzenegger) used to be a narcotics officer in Los Angeles, and a darn good one, until a bungled operation crippled a friend and killed several other cops. Disgusted and sick at heart, he moved to sleepy Sommerton Junction, Arizona. Over time, he got back into police work, and has been the sheriff of Sommerton County for quite some time now.

Given that Sommerton Junction is the largest town in the county, and only has two major streets, there's not a whole lot of crime. Right now Ray and three deputies can handle it. Those deputies are Mike "Miggy" Figuerola (Luis Guzman), Sarah Torrance (Jaimie Alexander), whose ex Frank Martinez (Rodrigo Santoro) is cooling his heel in the sheriff's holding cell after a drunk and disorderly, and eager rookie Jerry Bailey (Zach Gilford). They're not exactly the most imposing group of law officers, especially after Jerry breaks his nose testing an overpowered pistol belonging to local firearms enthusiast Lewis Dinkum (Johnny Knoxville).

Most of the citizens are out of town at a high school sports championship, so crime should be even further down, and Sheriff Owens figures he'll take a rare day off. But he senses something off about two truckers in the town diner, especially the one named Burrell (Peter Stormare). It comes to nothing, for now, but is a harbinger of bad things to come. Gabriel Cortez plans to cross the border at Sommerton, despite there being no bridge there, and he's not going to let anyone or anything stand in his way. Even if it is the last stand.

This action film was Arnie's return to lead actor after a decade away doing other things. It did..okay...at the box office, but not nearly as well as the studio was hoping based on his star power. The story acknowledges that its protagonist is getting long in the tooth, with Ray feeling his age and donning reading glasses at one point. Wisely, the plot doesn't force a love interest on him, with the romantic subplot being relegated to supporting cast. He and his deputies are constantly underestimated both by the feds and by the small army of baddies backing Cortez up.

If anything, the movie hypes Cortez's seemingly superhuman planning skills and the ability to back them up so that it will feel extra awesome when Ray finally comes face to face with him and is an even match. (And at that point, Cortez loses about half his IQ points--bribes aren't going to cut it when you've already done so much damage!)

Several other characters also get to have badass moments, and there's also the trademark Arnie one-liners and one or two other folks get memorable lines. "Do I look like a man who's afraid to die?" is not nearly in the context you might expect.

There's some nice stunts, plenty of violence, and a car chase or two.

Content note: Lots of violence, often fatal, sometimes gory. A fair amount of crude language.

Overall: Not one of the best Arnold Schwarzenegger films, but not embarrassing either. He's aged well, and improved his craft. Worth a watch for Arnie fans and those that prefer their action leads on the older side.

Total Recall (1990) dir. Paul Verhoeven

Doug Quaid (Arnold Schwarzenegger) has a recurring dream set on Mars. In it, he is exploring the landscape with a woman who is not his wife Lori (Sharon Stone) when he has an accident and his helmet breaks, causing Quaid to suffocate. When he awakens, Quaid wants to move to Mars despite the dire meaning of the dream, much to Lori's disgust. Then Quaid sees an ad for a company named Rekall. They can implant memories of a vacation on Mars. Quaid opts for the bonus "secret agent adventure" add-on. But when the implant is attempted, something goes horribly wrong.

It seems that Quaid already has memories of being a secret agent on Mars that were erased, and attempting to insert the fake memories is causing a reaction. The worried Rekall employees sedate Quaid and dump him in a cab, having partially erased his memories of coming to Rekall in the first place. Quaid is baffled when his coworkers suddenly try to kill him, and even more so when his wife does! She now claims they aren't married, but instead she's part of his cover identity on Earth, but now that he's blown that, it's time for him to die.

Mars, by the way, is run by a fellow named Cohaagen (Ronny Cox), who has a monopoly on the air supply and mistreats the mine workers and mutants who inhabit the domed cities. His current top agent is Richter (Michael Ironside), who would probably be better at tracking Quaid down if Mr. Cohaagen wasn't keeping secrets from him.

Eventually, Quaid evades his pursuers long enough to get to Mars and contact the Rebellion, one of whom is the woman from his dreams, Melina (Rachel Ticotin). Can Quaid remember the secret locked inside his missing memories before Cohaagen wipes out all resistance?

This film was inspired by Philip K. Dick's short story, "We Can Remember It for You Wholesale." Mainly it used the "false memories of a vacation on Mars reveal real memories" bit, as the original was decidedly not an action story. Alas, this meant the writers had to scrap the original's twist ending. (It's a doozy.)

Good: Some nice special effects, character makeup, and action sequences. Some of PKD's habit of playing around with "what is real?" was put into the script. Arnie gets some good moments of humor as well as action.

Less good: Lori and Melina are juxtaposed in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable, and the writing for them is noticeably less well done than for Quaid and Richter. Arnie's snappy one-liners when he kills people seem to have been imported just because audiences expected them. Some of the science is dubious even for the time period in service of cool special effects.

Random thought: Given the existence of fake memory technology, it's quite possible several of the bad guys were brainwashed into being so--this is never brought up in story.

Content note: Lots of violence, some gory. Bigamy, kind of. Female partial nudity (three-breasted hooker, yay!), foul language. Harm to animals.

Overall: Mostly a big loud action movie with just a little bit of extra depth. Not the best movie of anyone involved, but never boring and with plenty to see. Share popcorn with your friends!