skjam

The Living Daylights (1987) dir. John Glen

As part of a training exercise, several 00-class agents of British intelligence agency MI6 are assigned to infiltrate the military installation on the Rock of Gibraltar. The defenders are armed with paint-guns, but there's a ringer, a Soviet agent who is taking the opportunity to kill the British agents. He manages to assassinate two of them, leaving behind a deliberate reference to SMERSH ("death to spies"). But the third British agent is 007, James Bond (Timothy Dalton). Bond is able to eliminate the assassin in an explosion.

Shortly thereafter, Bond is assigned to assist KGB general Gerogi Koskov (Jeroen Krabbé) to defect to the West. He cooperates with Czechoslovakia section chief Saunders (Thomas Wheatley), but while they're setting up the scenario at a Bratislava concert hall, James notices that cellist Kara Milovy (Maryam d'Abo) is acting a bit oddly. Sure enough, during the extraction it turns out that she's the sniper assigned to keep Koskov from escaping. Bond notices more details, and disobeys orders to kill her, instead shooting the rifle out of her hands, then helping get Koskov through the Trans-Siberian pipeline.

Once in England, Koskov explains that his superior, General Leonid Pushkin (John Rhys-Davies) has been turning hard-liner, wanting to undercut detente and eliminate opponents using SMERSH. Before he can settle in, Koskov is recaptured by Necros (Andreas Wisniewski) disguised as a milkman.

M (Robert Brown) wants Bond to head to Tangier, Morocco to deal with General Pushkin, but James takes a detour back to Czechoslovakia to check on Kara Milov. He is able to establish that she had blanks in her rifle, as part of Koslov's fake defection. She's being hassled by the KGB, and James is able to trick her into believing he's Koslov's friend and sent to bring her to her lover in Vienna. Exciting chase scene ensues.

Meanwhile, Pushkin visits Brad Whitaker (Joe Don Baker), an American arms dealer with delusions of being a great military man. Pushkin asks for the KGB's money back on an arms deal for high tech weapons, but Whitaker claims he has already spent the cash (the KGB knows otherwise). Pushkin also knows that Whitaker and Koskov are working together, and threatens the arms dealer if he can't come up with the refund.

Back in Vienna, Bond and Kara are becoming closer while Saunders and the rest of MI6 look into what 007 has discovered. They discover the connection to Whitaker, but at the cost of Saunders' life.

In Tangier, James Bond determines that he was correct and General Pushkin is not in league with General Koskov. (Not without roughing Pushkin up a bit first, of course.) They fake Pushkin's death, but Koskov uses this to trick Kara into turning against James. Bond and Kara are taken to Afghanistan for execution, but this is nowhere near the end....

This was the first Timothy Dalton Bond movie, and had a shift of focus from the Roger Moore run. Dalton's Bond was a bit harder-edged, and while the plot isn't particularly plausible, it's more "down to earth", with weapons and drug dealing rather than science fiction devices or world endangerment. Also, while it's clear that 007 is still a womanizer, he only flirts with one woman, Kara, and only consummates their relationship after the movie is over. Dalton's Bond doesn't do as many one-liners, allowing other characters and situations to provider the humor.

Krabbé and Baker do a good job as the villains, personable enough to make it plausible that they've reached their current positions, but cold-blooded enough to explain why they're the bad guys. Necros fills in as the actual combat henchman, an okay but limited role. His best bits are when dressed as a milkman. A nice touch is that Whitaker has a collection of wax figures of famous military leaders, but they look a bit off...because they all have Whitaker's face.

The theme song by A-ha! is okay, but not top ten of James Bond movie themes.

The most notable political moment in the movie is the part set in Afghanistan during the Soviet invasion. While the Mujahideen are the scrappy underdogs against the Russian invaders, they're not untarnished good guys. Local leader Kamran Shah (Art Malik) has to work with opium lords if he wants to continue resistance work...though he's okay with Bond blowing up the drugs after they leave the camp. Younger viewers who only remember recent Afghanistan events may want to read up on the history.

As always, excellent stunts, action sequences and special effects. Kara Milov is surprisingly more combat effective than her background would suggest. (Indeed, she does better than some Bond girls who were supposed to be combat trained.)

Content note: Murder, lots of other violence, sometimes fatal. Extramarital sex is implied, a bit of male nudity as a gag. Alcohol use, mention of opium, Bond's drugged at one point. Late teens and up should be fine.

This wouldn't be my choice as the first 007 movie for a beginner to watch, but it's still well done. Recommended to those who prefer their Bond a bit more grounded.

Naruto the Movie: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow (2004) dir. Tensai Okamura

Yukie Fujikaze is a popular young actress most famous for starring in the title role of the "Princess Gale" movie series, as a ninja princess with "rainbow chakra." Sadly, while she is indeed a skilled actress in addition to being photogenic, off-camera Yukie is dead inside, unable to shed natural tears or enjoy interacting with fans. She also has personal reasons for never going back to the Land of Snow from the Land of Fire, so when it's announced her next Princess Gale film will be shot there, she attempts to flee.

Her escape is thwarted by trainee ninja Naruto Uzumaki, who got distracted from learning about his latest mission by seeing her escape from pursuers. Eventually, his mentor Kakashi Hatake and fellow trainees Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno catch up, and it's revealed that their mission is to "escort" Miss Fujikaze to the Land of Snow and protect her there. Kakashi has been to the Land of Snow before, which is one of the reasons his team has been assigned to this mission.

It turns out that Yukie is secretly Princess Koyuki, the rightful ruler of the Land of Snow. Ten years before, her uncle Doto Kazehana murdered her father and stole leadership of the country. Yukie barely escaped with her life, and buried herself in the role of an actress, cynically believing Doto and his supporters were too strong for her to fight. Her manager Sandayu Asama is actually a samurai warrior from the Land of Snow who tracked her down a few years back and has been manipulating events to get his princess back home so she can overthrow the usurper.

Doto himself has recently figured out who Yukie is, so the movie crew bringing her back to her homeland just saves him the trouble of sending his Snow shinobi warriors all the way to the Land of Fire. Doto has a bit of motivation beyond just seeking power. His late brother bankrupted the country's economy investing in various technological innovations in the hopes of "bringing spring" to a land of eternal winter. There's a final "treasure" locked away beneath the Glacier of Seven Colors which he hopes will pay for the industrial base needed to turn the high technology into military might so he can conquer the neighboring countries. And it just so happens that the princess is wearing the key to the vault.

This was the first Naruto animated movie, which takes place relatively early in the continuity (though of course not affecting the continuity back in any way.) This is the first time Team Seven has to cope with technology in advance of what they're used to. Chakra armor that enhances the Snow ninja's special abilities while protecting them from outside special abilities, a chakra drainer used as a restraining device on Naruto, a railroad, an airship and the knife-launching equivalent of a Gatling gun. That last one is especially effective against the low-level rebel troops who die in droves.

There's some fairly meta stuff here, as the movie is also about the making of a movie, and the director and crew share their philosophy of the craft. Yukie has lost her belief in happy endings being a real thing, but Naruto is determined to bring this story back to the shounen battle genre.

Naruto is the one who gets all the important emotional beats and solo screen time, but Sasuke and Sakura get to be equally effective in combat. And unlike the standard series, Sakura's book smarts are shown by her doing math in her head to predict the direction of an attack. Kakashi shows his cool adult skills against the leader of the Snow shinobi.

The animation is a slight bump up from the TV show, and the fights are exciting. The music's also pretty good, though the image song is a bit soppy.

I am a bit dubious at the "happy ending" in that it looks nice, but without some factors they're not bothering mentioning, it's going to be an ecological disaster.

Content note: Fantasy violence, some lethal, including the death of a named character. Yukie abuses alcohol. Very young viewers might find the death scene especially upsetting.

While the movie does a basic job of explaining of who Naruto is, it leans pretty heavily on the viewer having read the manga or seen the TV show. (The Nine-Tails shows up for a moment with no foreshadowing or explanation.) Primarily recommended to new Naruto fans who haven't already seen it.

Hellbinders (2009) dir. Mitch Gould

It is the 14th Century, a wasteland in the general vicinity of Jerusalem. Two men are fighting, Cain the last of the Templar Knights, and a demonically-possessed person known as Legion. Legion gloats that even if their vessel is destroyed, it can simply possess another, but Cain points out that he's made sure that there's no lifeforms within range for Legion to jump to, and he's immune to possession. Cain kills Legion, which solves that problem for a while.

But it turns out there were worms deep underground and Legion was able to transfer to those. It's taken centuries, but at last Legion is back in human bodies, and has regrouped in 21st Century Los Angeles. (They like the irony of the "City of Angels" name.) They've become a sort of gang/cult under the nominal leadership of Samael (Richard Cetrone).

The police have tried dealing with the situation, but this has resulted in fifteen dead cops, and fifteen cops joining the gang. (Apparently most of Legion is terrible at pretending to be the people they've replaced, so they're not actually infiltrating the police.) Two corrupt officers decide that this isn't working, so they hire top hitman Max (Ray Park) to wipe out the Legion gang using an ancient manuscript the gang wants as bait.

The hit goes poorly. While Max is able to kill a bunch of Legion, this just re3sults in his backup team getting possessed and turned against him, and Samael gets away with the Book of Solomon.

Meanwhile, members of the local Yakuza have also been possessed and turned against the parent organization in Japan. Assassin Ryu (Johnny Yong Bosch) has been dispatched to deal with this, but soon realizes that more is going on here than normal mob politics. This is especially obvious with Tetsuro (Dan Southworth) who's been possessed by a particularly strong piece of Legion. He also makes contact with a Buddhist priest (Gerald Okamura) who's able to tell him at least a little of what's going on.

The now ageless Cain (Esteban Cueto) is tipped off to Legion's resurgence to rival demon Beelzebub (Steve Fite). He confronts Samael, who points out there are four million people in Los Angeles for Legion to jump into--even Cain can't kill that many theoretically innocent people by himself.

The three men find themselves forced together by the fact that each of them is immune to possession by Legion and therefore they're the only ones they can trust. Cain is protected by the heretical dark magic that also makes him undying (the Templars never made deals with the Fallen Ones, but did learn from them), Ryu has mental disciplines passed down from his warrior-priest lineage (who've fallen in the world to mere ninja-type assassins) and Max literally has no soul to possess, normally a bad thing.

Will even these three be enough to stop Legion from opening a portal that will turn the City of Angels into Hell-A?

This low budget direct to video supernatural action flick is much better than that combination of words would normally have you think. While not directly based on a comic book, it's very comic-booky in a good way, right down to having transitions framed as comic book panels. Each of the protagonists has their own director for scenes focusing on them, but the directors (mostly known for stunt direction) coordinate well enough that this isn't jarring.

The three leads are decent enough actors for their roles, and they're given slightly more depth in their characters than is normal for this subgenre. Plus the stunts and fights are varied and interesting. (There's a fight scene between two former Power Rangers for you trivia buffs.) There's no shoved-in romantic subplot (though you might think so from an early scene.)

The nature of Legion's powers make them an interesting threat that needs some thought to deal with. While there's plenty of sequel hooks, no sequel was forthcoming, so you don't have to think about how that would work unless you're writing fanfic.

The one big misstep in the movie is a special effects sequence near the end that really demonstrates the limit of the budget.

Content note: Lots of violence, usually lethal, with one particularly gory moment. Casual homophobia, some rough language. A character is shown post-torture. While some scenes take place in an opium den, I don't think we ever see opium being used.

This is fun middlebrow entertainment, with just enough extra fiber to engage some brain cells. Recommended to action fans.

From Russia With Love (1963) dir. Terence Young

James Bond (Sean Connery) is being stalked through a garden maze by a mysterious figure. The stalker manages to get the jump on Bond and strangle him with a wire garotte concealed in his watch. Our hero is dead! But no, we swiftly learn that this was another man disguised as Bond as a test for Donald "Red" Grant (Robert Shaw), who we will formally meet later.

A chess master named Kronsteen (Vladek Shaybel) is called away from a championship match, but stays just long enough to checkmate his opponent. His summoner, Blofeld (?) is the head of the freelance espionage group SPECTRE. He expects Kronsteen to come up with a plan to destroy James Bond in retaliation for 007's defeat of their agent Dr. No. The field commander for the operation will be Rosa Klebb (Lotte Lenya), formerly commander of the Soviet counterintelligence agency SMERSH. She recruits Red Grant from SPECTRE Island as the muscle, and Tatiana "Tanya" Romanova (Daniela Bianchi), a clerical worker at the Russian embassy in Istanbul, as the bait. Tatiana is unaware that Klebb has switched allegiance, so believes she is working in the interests of the Soviet Union.

At last we see the real Bond, who's called away from a picnic with his current lady friend to confer with his boss M (Bernard Lee). Tatiana has sent a communication claiming that she has fallen in love with 007 based on his dossier and photograph, and that she wants to defect, bringing a Lektor coding device with her, but only if James himself comes to pick her up. It's clearly a trap, but the bait is excellent, and Bond is sure he can outwit the KGB. He flirts with Miss Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell) and gets a gimmicked briefcase from gadgeteer Boothroyd (Desmond Llewelyn), codename Q.

In Istanbul, Bond meets up with local spy chief Kerim Bey (Pedro Armendáriz), an affable fellow who has a relatively relaxed relationship with both Western and Eastern agents. Red Grant works behind the scenes to stir hostilities up between the various spies as part of the SPECTRE plan. bond is temporarily caught up with Kerim Bey's feud with the Bulgarian agents.

Finally, it's time for James Bond and Tatiana Romanova to meet. 007 has entered the trap--can he find a way out?

This was the second "official" James Bond movie, rushed into production to come out only a year after Dr. No. One of the biggest changes from the book version is changing the villains from SMERSH to SPECTRE, having the third party manipulate the national agencies against each other. The main plan is to have Bond steal the coding device with Tatiana's help, film their sex scenes, and then make it appear that they have killed each other in a sordid murder/suicide scandal. As a bonus, SPECTRE will be able to ransom the Lektor back to the Soviets.

Good: Lots of exciting action, excellent scenery in Istanbul, a strong base story. The cast is strong, and Blofeld is suitably sinister and mysterious. The confrontation with Grant on the Orient Express is a classic of suspense and brutal hand to hand combat.

Less good: There's a lot of setup, so the main plot doesn't get going until about halfway through the movie. While all the scenes are good in and of themselves, I got a bit impatient for Tatiana and Bond to finally be on screen together, and this means the "falling in love" part is seriously rushed.

Content note: Action movie violence, often lethal, but very little blood. Rosa Klebb is implied to be sexually attracted to Tatiana (this is explicit in the book) and acts creepy about it (bad touch!) Female nudity (blurred), shirtless men. A scene at a "Gypsy" encampment has the traditional exotic dancer, and a less typical "scantily clad women's professional wrestling" bout. (In the book this is a naked wrestling bout.) Bond is implied to have extramarital sex with multiple women. Karim has a mistress, though they don't get far before action interrupts. Karim also has multiple sons but no mention of a wift. Fish are forced to fight each other to the death. Late teens and up should be able to handle it, younger viewers may need adult guidance.

This is one of the top Bond movies; the formula isn't fully settled yet, but Sean Connery has grown into his role. Lotte Lenya is awesome as Rosa Klebb, and the rest of the cast also does a good job. Highly recommended to action movie fans able to handle some outdated cultural notions.

Sword of the Beast (1965) dir. Hideo Gosha

It is 1857, towards the end of the Tokugawa Shogunate. Commodore Perry's ships have forced Japan to open its ports, and social change is rippling across Japan. Yuuki Gennosuke (Mikijiro Hira) thought he was going to help bring reform, but instead wound up killing his clan's "counselor." Now he's on the run from the official's daughter Misa (Toshie Kimura), her fiancé Daizaburo (Kantaro Suga) who was once his best friend, and a vendetta squad from the clan.

Reduced to a fugitive "beast", Gennosuke narrowly escapes several bad situations before being sheltered by a farmer named Gundayu (Takeshi Kato). This is not a selfless act. Gundayu has a get rich quick scheme based around illegal gold panning on a mountain that's Shogunate land. Getting caught means the death penalty, so he needs a confederate skilled in combat. Gennosuke agrees as he will need money to leave the district and disappear.

They're not the only ones to have this idea, as there are several other poachers on the mountain. The most formidable is Jurata Yamane (Go Kato) who with his wife Taka (Shima Iwashita) has been prospecting on behalf of his clan for the promise of promotion to a full retainer with a decent salary. He's killing anyone who finds them, but time is running out before the Shogunate patrols figure out what's going on.

This was Hideo Gosha's second film, after Three Outlaw Samurai (see my earlier review), and you can see definite improvement in his directing skills. He's gotten the hang of the difference between shooting for television vs. movie screens. It takes a while before we can assess Gennosuke's character as we first see him already on the run and having thrown away his honor as a samurai. The flashbacks are out of order, concealing important details of his motivations.

Gennosuke is contrasted with several other "beasts" on the mountain, and the varying levels at which they've thrown away the trappings of civilized behavior. There are times when sticking to what honor or the orders you've been given demands is crueler than acting on natural impulses, but too far into the latter and you become worse than a beast.

Yamane is the mirror that Gennosuke truly sees himself in, as he learns that the stranger's clan leadership is no more trustworthy than his own. Reform will come, but not from any of the characters in this movie. There are survivors, but none of them can go home.

Good use of scenery, especially the small river most of the action takes place near or in. The action scenes are decent.

Content note: Several swordfights, mostly lethal, not particularly gory. A couple of more brutal murders. Domestic violence. Rape (off camera), implied nudity. Consensual extramarital sex is discussed but not carried out.

Overall: A good enough samurai revenge tragedy. It's solidly put together and easy to follow despite the flashback thing. Recommended to fans of samurai movies.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969) dir. Peter R. Hunt

James Bond (George Lazenby), agent of Her Majesty's Secret Service, is a bit at loose ends. He's spent the last two years trying to track down Ernst Stavros Blofeld (Telly Savalas) with no luck. M (Bernard Lee) would like 007 to move on to other threats. Happening to see a woman on a lonely beach walking into the ocean, Bond saves her from drowning, only to be attacked by men while she runs away. He runs into the woman again at a casino, saves her from a gambling debt, and they become better acquainted. But the next morning she's gone, and Bond is abducted by criminals.

It turns out they're working for Marc-Ange Draco (Gabriele Ferzetti), head of the Unione Corse crime syndicate. The woman, Contessa Therese "Tracy" Di Vicenzo (Diana Rigg), is his daughter. She was neglected growing up, and did things to spite her father, including marrying the late Count. Tracy, too, is at loose ends, and Draco thinks Bond would make a good husband. James demurs, being a confirmed horndog who doesn't like to be tied down, and also a secret agent with a dangerous job. The offer of money is scoffed at, but Bond is interested in information about the current location of rival crime syndicate SPECTRE's boss Blofeld.

Tracy sees through this, and while she actually is interested in James, insists her father give up the information rather than dangle it for weeks. After a whirlwind romance, James acts on that info, breaking into a lawyer's office and learning that Blofeld is now going by 'Count Balthazar De Bleuchamp' and is trying to get his title recognized officially. (Blofeld seems truly invested in getting his title "for real", it's never proven one way or the other.) Bond goes undercover, posing as a genealogist to get invited to the secret hideout.

This location turns out to be Piz Gloria, in the Swiss Alps, which can only be reached by helicopter or private cable car. The Count sends his right hand woman Irma Bunt (Ilse Steppat) to pick up Sir Bray, and it's explained that this is a medical research institute specializing in allergy treatment. There's a dozen young women from around the world under treatment, some of whom find "Sir Bray" quite tantalizing. Turns out that Blofeld is actually brainwashing these women to spread biological weapons to targeted animals and crops to destroy the supply. If the United Nations doesn't bow to Blofeld, he will release his weapons one by one.

Bond's cover is blown. How will he get out of this one and save the day?

This was the only George Lazenby Bond movie, after Sean Connery had done the part in five previous films. Rather than have a regeneration process ala Doctor Who, Lazenby briefly refers to "the other fellow" in the cold open, and then the movie proceeds as though he's the same character. (The opening titles show bits of the previous movies, and later we see props that had been used previously to emphasize the continuity.)

He's a perfectly acceptable Bond, and might have grown into the role if he was able to continue. Her looks good in a kilt. Diana Rigg is good as Tracy, and Telly Savalas does a decent Blofeld.

The cinematography is very good, especially the aerial shots during the ski chase scenes, which were done using a special harness for the camera operator. (A man dedicated to his job--he'd lost a leg while shooting the previous James Bond movie.) Awesome action sequences and stunts as well.

The music is also of note. The title theme is instrumental so that no one had to try to work "on her majesty's secret service" into lyrics. And Louis Armstrong gives his final film performance singing "All the Time in the World" over the romance sequence, heartbreaking if you already know how the film ends.

That ending is one of the most notable ones in the film series, and is an influence on Bond's character going forward.

Gadgets are played down, with the only important one being a combination safecracker/photocopier that Bond has to have delivered by construction equipment.

The scenes with the patients at the institute, the "Angels of Death", are rather tedious and make the film drag a bit in the middle. Blofeld's plot involving them has a lot of failure points, but Bond would prefer to just make sure it fails at Step One.

Content note: Violence, often lethal. One kill is particularly gory. Female nudity, usually in shadows or otherwise obscured. (As an in-joke, James picks up a Playboy magazine (where this novel was serialized) and looks at the centerfold rather than reading it for the articles.) As always in Bond films, extramarital sex. Some old-fashioned sexism. There's a bullfight going on in the background of one scene, but it's a Portuguese bullfight, which is specifically non-lethal to the bulls. Still could be seen as abusive to the bull.

This isn't one of the top Bond movies, but it's solid and important to the character development. (And is unusually close to the book it was adapted from!) Recommended to James Bond fans, and action movie fans who want the romance treated a bit more seriously.

The Great Escape (1963) dir. John Sturges

During World War Two, the Germans captured quite a few enemy soldiers, primarily aviators who'd been shot down or crashed. The Allied prisoners considered it their first duty to escape from captivity, and several of them caused enough headaches that the Luftwaffe built a new prison camp, Stalag Luft III, to transfer the escape artists and other annoyances to, a special camp built to be escape-proof. Naturally, just because you tell British, Commonwealth and American soldiers that a prison is inescapable doesn't mean they'll just give up. They soon planned the biggest escape attempt of the war. This movie is a fictionalized version of that event, The Great Escape.

Camp Commandant Von Luger (Hannes Messemer) warns senior British officer Ramsey (John Donald) of the new conditions and urges him to get his men to sit tight for the rest of the war, as Von Luger would like to avoid killing the prisoners, who as fellow military men he respects. Ramsey has a severe limp, so knows that he personally won't be involved in any escape attempt, but he's certainly not going to tell his fellow prisoners to fail their duty.

Because this stalag has been designated as the place to send the most incorrigible escape risks, the Germans have as a side effect created an all-star escape team. Leader "Big X" Bartlett (Richard Attenborough), Scrounger Hendley (James Garner), tunnel king Danny (Charles Bronson), forger Blythe (Donald Pleasance), manufacturer Sedgwick (James Coburn), dispersal expert Ashley-Pitt (David McCallum) and other experts. Plus wild card loose cannon Captain Hilts (Steve McQueen) who soon becomes known as the "Cooler King" for being thrown in isolation so often.

From the moment they arrive, the various prisoners start assessing the prison's defenses, potential blind spots and geology. A couple of improvised attempts at escape are shortly quashed. It's quickly decided that tunnels are the best option, so three are begun. Almost everyone is on board with the plan, but Hilts is more concerned with getting himself (and maybe one other person) out than the insane idea of getting oh, say, 250 prisoners to escape at the same time.

Eventually, Hilts realizes he's being a bit too selfish, and starts cooperating. At last the escape happens, and seventy-six prisoners manage to get outside the camp. The remainder of the film follows their attempts to remain free.

While Steve McQueen is top-billed (and his character was made American for box-office purposes; in real life the Americans had been moved to another stalag before the escape happened), the rest of the cast is also strong and many of them get their own moments to shine. It helps that many of them had their own military experience to draw on. Donald Pleasance had even spent time in a German POW camp, while some of the German actors had been in Russian or American camps.

As part of his contract negotiations for the part of Hilts, Mr. McQueen insisted on being able to show off his motorcycle skills, and does all of his own riding (and a couple of other characters') except the big jump stunt. This makes for some exciting riding scenes, even if that part is entirely fictional.

Set design is excellent (and if it looks too clean/nice, remember that British and American POWs were actually treated according to the Geneva Convention most of the time.) There's some lovely German scenery in the last third of the movie as the escapees spread out across Germany. Oh, and the jaunty theme tune is a classic.

Content note: Several people are shot dead, very little blood. One of these scenes is a war crime by the Gestapo (who are villainous Nazis compared to the relatively honorable Luftwaffe.) Fisticuffs. A character commits suicide by guard. Danny has a severe meltdown due to his claustrophobia. Younger or more sensitive viewers may need parental guidance.

Overall: This is deservedly one of the favorite movies of many film fans. Yes, the historical accuracy suffers a bit to include Steve McQueen's character, but the story is well-told enough to forgive this. Highly recommended to war movie and Steve McQueen fans.

The Last Stand (2013) dir. Jee-Woon Kim

Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega) is the organized crime version of a nepo baby, being a third generation cartel boss. But he didn't stay on top in the business by being anything less than a ruthless, cunning active criminal. When captured inside the United States, Cortez uses his wealth and connections to suborn an FBI insider inside the task force assigned to him. This allows him to set up an elaborate escape plan to get from Las Vegas to Mexico. With his inside knowledge, well-trained minions, and expert driving skills, Cortez is able to stay one step against his government opponent, FBI agent John Bannister (Forest Whitaker) and the law enforcement in his way. There's just one little thing Cortez didn't plan on.

Sheriff Ray Owens (Arnold Schwarzenegger) used to be a narcotics officer in Los Angeles, and a darn good one, until a bungled operation crippled a friend and killed several other cops. Disgusted and sick at heart, he moved to sleepy Sommerton Junction, Arizona. Over time, he got back into police work, and has been the sheriff of Sommerton County for quite some time now.

Given that Sommerton Junction is the largest town in the county, and only has two major streets, there's not a whole lot of crime. Right now Ray and three deputies can handle it. Those deputies are Mike "Miggy" Figuerola (Luis Guzman), Sarah Torrance (Jaimie Alexander), whose ex Frank Martinez (Rodrigo Santoro) is cooling his heel in the sheriff's holding cell after a drunk and disorderly, and eager rookie Jerry Bailey (Zach Gilford). They're not exactly the most imposing group of law officers, especially after Jerry breaks his nose testing an overpowered pistol belonging to local firearms enthusiast Lewis Dinkum (Johnny Knoxville).

Most of the citizens are out of town at a high school sports championship, so crime should be even further down, and Sheriff Owens figures he'll take a rare day off. But he senses something off about two truckers in the town diner, especially the one named Burrell (Peter Stormare). It comes to nothing, for now, but is a harbinger of bad things to come. Gabriel Cortez plans to cross the border at Sommerton, despite there being no bridge there, and he's not going to let anyone or anything stand in his way. Even if it is the last stand.

This action film was Arnie's return to lead actor after a decade away doing other things. It did..okay...at the box office, but not nearly as well as the studio was hoping based on his star power. The story acknowledges that its protagonist is getting long in the tooth, with Ray feeling his age and donning reading glasses at one point. Wisely, the plot doesn't force a love interest on him, with the romantic subplot being relegated to supporting cast. He and his deputies are constantly underestimated both by the feds and by the small army of baddies backing Cortez up.

If anything, the movie hypes Cortez's seemingly superhuman planning skills and the ability to back them up so that it will feel extra awesome when Ray finally comes face to face with him and is an even match. (And at that point, Cortez loses about half his IQ points--bribes aren't going to cut it when you've already done so much damage!)

Several other characters also get to have badass moments, and there's also the trademark Arnie one-liners and one or two other folks get memorable lines. "Do I look like a man who's afraid to die?" is not nearly in the context you might expect.

There's some nice stunts, plenty of violence, and a car chase or two.

Content note: Lots of violence, often fatal, sometimes gory. A fair amount of crude language.

Overall: Not one of the best Arnold Schwarzenegger films, but not embarrassing either. He's aged well, and improved his craft. Worth a watch for Arnie fans and those that prefer their action leads on the older side.

Oldboy (2003) dir. Park Chan-wook

On his daughter's birthday, Dae-su OH (Choi Min-sik) got stinking drunk and taken to the police station. He was still pretty drunk when he was picked up by his friend No Joo-hwan (Dae-han Ji). So when Dae-su vanished while No's back was turned in a phone booth, at first it's assumed that he just wandered off. But then he just never showed up again, a mysterious missing person case. His wife's murder some time later was attributed to Dae-su for lack of any other suspects, and his daughter was sent overseas. But now, fifteen years later, Dae-su has resurfaced.

As it happens, Dae-su has spent all that time locked up in a hotel-style room with bed, bathroom, and a television set. Every so often he was knocked out with gas so his unknown captors could perform maintenance...and certain other tasks. No one talked to him, there was no connection to the outside world except the television, and Dae-su couldn't figure out why he was there. He kept fit and did a lot of shadow-boxing, and once he managed to get hold of an extra chopstick, started digging an escape tunnel. Just as he'd made a small hole in the outside wall, making his escape a possibility, he was gassed again, and found himself on the outside.

After wandering about a bit, Dae-su is given a cell phone and a mysterious voice challenges him to find out who is taking this revenge and why before July 5. If Dae-su can figure it out, the mystery man (Yoo Ji-tae) will die, if not, Dae-su will die. To get strength for the task ahead, Dae-su goes to a sushi restaurant he saw on television, and falls into a relationship with young chef Mi-Do (Kang Hye-jong). She begins to help him with his quest, but the mystery man is closer than they think, and orchestrating events towards tragedy.

This Korean movie was based on a Japanese manga thriller of the same name, and is part of the director's "revenge trilogy" but you do not need to have seen the other movies to follow this one. It was a huge hit, and an American remake came out in 2013,

Some scenes are gritty and realistic, while others are surreal. It can sometimes be difficult to tell if a character is hallucinating, having a flight of fancy, or just an interactive flashback. Hypnosis is a plot point, introduced relatively early on, then seemingly forgotten for a long time. There's a lot of visual symbolism and literary references to give texture to the film.

Unfortunately, what makes this movie particularly memorable are the twists as we learn the truth about the mystery man, his motivations and what his actual goal is. Without giving away too much, this movie takes a standard action film cliche and plays it for horror. And that's all I can say about that.

It can be inferred that Dae-su was something of an asshole when younger, as he makes a list of everyone who might hate him enough to have him imprisoned, and it's about three hundred names (and the mystery man may or may not be on that list.) Most people would probably top out at a dozen or so. Also, he never considers freeing other prisoners once he finds out where he was held.

Content note: Violence, often bloody, sometimes lethal. Torture. Suicide. Male and female nudity, on-screen extramarital sex (no genitals). SPOILER redacted, but horrific; I'd recommend for strong-stomached adults only.

This is a very well-shot movie with some terrific acting, but the content means it isn't for everyone. Approach with caution.

Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe (1990) dir. Damian Lee

Sonia Murray (Marjorie Bransfield) has lived all her life in the small town of Thornbury in Canada. About six years ago, she was assaulted and impregnated by a foreign criminal who'd entered the country illegally. The criminal was almost immediately captured and hauled away by the foreign law enforcement officer who'd been in hot pursuit. Shortly thereafter, Sonia gave birth to a son, Thomas D. Murray (Francis Mitchell). Despite the stigma of being a single mother whose child had no visible father (Sonia hadn't even gotten his name), she's done okay for herself and Tommy, running a health food store. But now the criminal is back in town, and wants to take away her child.

The criminal in question is Secundus (Sven Ole-Thorsen), a former member of the galactic Finder organization who went rogue when he discovered a path to the "Anti-Life Equation" (shout out to Jack Kirby) that will allow him to become completely immortal and omnipotent. This involves mixing his genetic material with a fertile female of certain humanoid races (such as Earth humans) to create a "Komate", a child with telekinetic abilities and enough brainpower to calculate the Anti-Life Equation without discorporating.

Pursuing Secundus is his old partner Abraxas (Jesse "the Governor" Ventura), an eleven-thousand-year-old Finder who we first see having his skin toughened by what looks like electrical torture. His job is made more difficult because by ancient law Secundus cannot be executed, even while resisting arrest, and Abraxas refuses to kill innocents like Sonia or Tommy to remove Secundus' victory conditions. Abraxas must find a way of protecting the two Earthlings while also thwarting Secundus' plans.

A number of professional wrestlers have managed to move into full-time acting careers. Jesse Ventura didn't quite make it, but did have a number of memorable movie appearances, including this Canadian science fiction action flick. He's okay in this role, but the emotionally restrained Abraxas does not allow him to use some of his better emoting skills. Good thing he had politics to fall back on!

Typical for low-budget efforts, this movie tries to have as little "science fiction" as it can get away with. One of the two Finder dispatchers mentions that while humans are no great shakes intellectually, Earth technology isn't that far behind the Galactic standard. And most of the tech that would be harder to show is destroyed in the landing. Far from being a Guardian of the Universe, Abraxas struggles to guard just two people while Secundus cuts a swath through the population of Thornbury.

Mr. Ole-Thorsen is playing Arnold Schwarzenegger-lite, which is a bit disconcerting at times. Secundus kills people for efficiency, because they annoy him, and sometimes for what looks like fun. Unlike Abraxas, he doesn't think of others as real people, only his ascension to godhood is relevant in the long run.

Tommy is voluntarily mute due to his fear of his own developing powers, which apparently involve a verbal component in their full form. This causes the problems you'd expect, including bullying. The sharpest moment in the movie is when the elementary school principal (Jim Belushi) tries to get Sonia to withdraw her son ("This is a normal school for normal children") because it's easier for him than actually stopping the bullies. We only see the bullying ourselves later when Tommy starts using his powers to make a bully back off.

The bulk of the movie takes place in the days leading up to Christmas--I think there might be some residual parts from an earlier draft that would have tied Tommy closer to being a baby Jesus figure.

Political: Abraxas is a "good cop" frustrated by a situation where the criminal has more rights than the prospective victims. His dispatcher specifically orders him to kill civilians as this will resolve the incident faster, and he refuses, trying to find another way (and eventually resorting to a loophole.) Secundus is an ex-cop who allowed the job to fray away any sense of connection with others before he began seeking personal power instead. The local police are bumblers who are in no way prepared for an actual dangerous criminal in their small town and serve mostly as comic relief. Their big moment is fetching a submachine gun from the armory, which actually manages to knock Secundus off his feet for a moment. (It would have been kind of hilarious if Secundus took serious damage from an Earth weapon.)

Content note: What is essentially high-tech rape without any actual sex, children in peril, bullying, an incontinence joke, the tops of women's breasts are shown. (The print I watched was apparently the HBO version, which cut a bit of nudity.) A little bit of gore.

Overall: I'm going to put this in the "okay" category. It's not actively bad, an attempt was made. But it never rises to the level of good, either. Mr. Ventura doesn't have the right screen presence to sell his leading man role, and the overall writing isn't sharp enough to sell the rest of the movie. This is the sort of movie I would settle for if it happened to be on and I was just wanting to have something on while working on another project or stuck in a hospital bed.